A thought crept into my mind. My poems speak about myself voluminously but are decoded in a very sly manner, of which I’m proud. Later, I realized that if I don’t jot down the emotions, secrets, or what drove me to write such poems, I might forget them. Somewhere, this might be a testimony that would help you or someone grow closer to our Lord Jesus. So, I’ve decided that I’m going to post and share the tales of my life, the stories behind my poems. Also, I must confess I have no in-depth understanding of poems. I expressed myself within few lines comprising few figures of speech and a certain rhyming pattern.
- My first poem: Life is more than you can perceive.(A Poem)
This was my first ever written poem. Surprisingly enough, it was created in a very unique manner, like carbon under extreme pressure and temperature transforming into something more beautiful and valuable, pleasing to the eye. I was grief-stricken, failing in my life and career, which caused me to lose friends, family, and social status. Some would make fun, but what was amusing about this failure was the realization that someone who was like a brother turned his back on me. I was being ridiculed by him, and his constant pestering sneer kept growing. I wondered what made him think he was better than me, it was a puzzle – how is media stream better than engineering? Up until now, I haven’t mentioned that despite my deep sadness, I never let go of Jesus (like Jacob holding on the till he was blesses refer Genesis 32:26 ) or stopped going to church. It was one Sunday evening, out of nowhere, the first two lines of the poem came from my mouth. I vented out my sadness through this poem, somehow comparing my petty situation with others. Psalm 91 was my go-to psalm back then. I kept meditating on Psalm 91:4 and felt better – “He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.” Over time, just like the Red Sea parted ways and the Lord helped Moses and the fellow Israelites cross the sea (Exodus 14:21 ), I was saved and the impossible happened by God’s grace.
- My second poem: For that’s all I wish. (A Poem)
The dark cloud hasn’t fully lifted yet. Though there was a silver lining and I grabbed it (It was a surreal event where my family and aunt helped me through). Circumstances evidently point to me that my God is merciful and real.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
I was fighting tooth and nail for my life, as going on was something difficult to do. Weird, right? I am not being completely honest here. It wasn’t I alone but it was family and my dearest aunt who have relentlessly prayed for me. I thank Jesus Christ for everything, great is his Holy name.
“Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 18:19
Now there was a certain serenity in my heart and mind. I wrote this poem during the time my tranquil mind was feeling better. I was wanting or hoping peace and love for myself and for this world too. The calmness must have hit me hard cause this was my first longest poem with so many words expressing about everything and wishing their welfare.
- My third poem: The Lore (A Poem)
This was one of my smartest sly works, I believe. This poem is all about me. Tramp is someone who travels on foot. Mostly depicted as someone who is financially broke, in a certain pathetic state and doesn’t have a choice, as he is just going with miserable circumstances.
My mental state was somewhat similar to a tramp, and I happened to be on the move as we shifted to a new place. The tramp of Troy, Troy is a place referred to in stories. It has some historical or at least some mythological significance to my knowledge. Now this is where my grey cells have done their work magnificently. I was previously residing in a place called Trombay, so I used wordplay and made it into Troy. A seven-letter word converted into a four-letter word. Here things are a bit better. The new place has treated me better by the grace of God. I have made new friends and have a social circle that I was wanting. It feels like a breath of fresh air. I haven’t been given a clean chit for my past. Only God can erase and forgive. Humans dwell to haunt and dig dirt on others.
"I will also appoint a place for My people Israel and will plant them, that they may live in their own place and not be disturbed again, nor will the wicked afflict them any more as formerly," -
2 Samuel 7:10
During the closing of my poem, I wanted to say my works might warn or help few people.
- My fourth poem: Song of Life (A Poem)
I wanted to preach to others about life and its beauty. Each day is a gift and mercy of God. Treasure it and cherish it. Live and let live, but more importantly, have a godly life. You’re God’s temple and a masterpiece, each uniquely designed in His image.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. " - Psalm 139:14
"19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." -
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
" Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for God's temple is sacred, and you together are that temple." -
1 Corinthians 3: 16-17
"18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. " - Romans 8:18
"Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." -Genesis 1:26
"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps " - 1 Peter 2:21
"till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; " - Ephesians 4:13
"If you love Me, keep My commandments. " - John 14:15
"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. " - 1 John 5:3
Irony lies here, during this I was battling demons of my own, thoughts to keep my life intact or to simply put, not to harm myself. Maybe this poem was like self-assurance or self-hypnosis where I tell myself how life works and how great it is to be alive. In my social circle, there was a brother who always wore a smile, had innocence on his face, and was lively. Unexpectedly, he committed suicide. I felt sorry for him, and I pray for him. I didn’t quite like the way others treated him and how things were said during his funeral. May his soul rest in peace. For he was a good and jolly guy.
According to our Malankara Orthodox Syrian Christian faith, life is a precious gift of God and no one is allowed to take their own or others’ lives. Whoever commits such a sin is shamed. Some extra prayers of forgiveness are recited so that he/she can be admitted into heaven during judgment. Also, they are not allowed to be buried besides the faithful. I thought to myself, why go through earthly hell as well as eternal damnation?
As Keanu Reeves replied to the question about death, “I know that the ones who love us will miss us.” I thought to myself that I shouldn’t trouble my family anymore in any new ways. I decided to fight my thoughts and again held strongly to my Bible and meditated on God’s words. Still, the thoughts slip in and still, I fight using all these Holy verses of God.
"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" - Matthew 6:26
"6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" - Philippians 4:6-7
- My fifth poem:O Anne! (A Poem)
This is a poem about my mother. I love her. I hope one day I can bring joy and wipe away her tears. She has gone through a lot and I pray to God that I bring some sort of comfort to her, as a good and responsible son should.
"The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother." - Proverbs 10:1
- My sixth poem : The Pearl (A Poem)
This poem is about my Father, he is the prince of INNOK. Father was born and brought up in KONNI, Kerala. A letter reversal or transposing of letters, used craftily in my poem. If you have guessed it, I am the pearl mentioned in this poem.
"A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother." - Proverbs 15:20
Sadly, all I could think was I failed him as a son.
- My seventh poem: Agape, the God’s love. (A Poem)
I wanted to write a poem about love, so what’s the best way to draw inspiration for a lovely romantic poem? I have an icon of Blessed Mother Mary with our Lord Jesus Christ. I watched closely the icon and wrote lines. It is true, my inspiration is from a picture of an icon which I received as a token of love for attending a Sunday school teacher’s meet in Nagpur.
My heart was heavy and my muscles felt numb because of feeling lonely. I could only stare back at the icon, and teary eyes wouldn’t let me see the picture clearly. As I was watching and weeping, memories started to flood inside me. I remember the day when I received this memento from Bishop – His Grace Dr. Abraham Mar Seraphim. I remember the day vividly, after receiving it from His Grace the bishop. I was happy and delighted as, being the youngest one, people were happy to see me. At the same time, I was enjoying myself there. I remember running after a mother and a child to take a picture with me. She was a theology student and the first female theology student in the Malankara Orthodox Church. That wasn’t the reason for the photo, but she had come to our parish and taught us a vacation Bible session (O.V.B.S. – Orthodox Vacation Bible Studies). Cincy Kochamma married a priest and teaches about the Christian Orthodox faith to young seminarians who would be ordained as priests.
That day I learned that Jesus loves us and talks to us in every way possible. The icon was blessed Mother Mary holding our Lord Jesus, and she posed in a very similar manner. She asked a young seminarian to help me take the snap. She lifted her son, who is very active and lively like a squirrel. She held him as he smiled, and as the seminarian was about to click, the young child pressed his cheeks closer to his mother’s cheek and held her closer and tighter. At that instant, all of us who were present, living this moment – me, the seminarian, Cincy Kochamma (Kochamma is like a title to call a Reverend priest’s wife in Malayalam), and the child – gave out a smile that I can truly say came from the bottom of our hearts. There, I witnessed some pure emotions like love, endearment, innocence, joy, and warmth. Soon, I could understand the icon much more clearly, and like a vision explained to me, I was in complete awe and delight. The only difference was that in the blessed Mother Mary icon, Mother Mary held our Lord Jesus Christ on her right side. Here, Kochamma held her son on the left, but the emotions unraveled to me like a prophet explaining a prophecy. I could only thank Jesus and continue writing, dedicating it wholly to God. Understanding God’s love is the highest form of love. He loves us a lot and has given us a chance, a hope.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16
26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.
John 19:26-27
Even during death, our God Jesus Christ loved and cared for His blessed mother, blessed Virgin Mother Mary, who is blessed among all women. She is full of grace and the Holy Spirit, as she was chosen to be part of the heavenly plot for the salvation of mankind. Prophesied in Isaiah, yet blessed Mother Mary was the most humble and sincere saint of God.
What I really understand is that when St. John, the beloved, was instructed to see Mother Mary as his own mother, this wasn’t only said to him but to every Christian follower. I personally have experienced it. Whenever I’m in dismay or distress, I call upon the Lord Jesus Christ and then ask Mother Mary to intercede for me. Like a mother who has the best interest of her sons/daughters, Mother Mary prays for me. Mother Mary is the holiest of holiest saints, full of grace and blessed to be crowned as the Mother of God, Theotokos.
- My eighth poem: Tom (A Poem)
Tom is a poem about me, it is short for Thomas. I felt sad and petty for my pathetic condition. I felt all alone.
“He heals the brokenhearted
Psalm 147:3
and binds up their wounds.”
“13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
- My ninth poem: Rubik’s Cube (A Poem)
This poem is different than others. It isn’t about me or my family in any direct way. At least, that’s what I believe. One day, my cousin brother, whom I look up to, wrote and shared a poem about chess in a very interesting manner. I wanted to try something similar, so I thought about writing a poem about gambling and integrating it with life. But something even better was waiting for me. I shared my cousin’s poem with a friend of mine. She writes poems and has a style similar to his. If my poems are like infant babies, then their poems are like hormone-charged rebel teens. It’s lively and too strong for me. She enjoyed the poem about chess and suggested that I write a similar poem about Rubik’s cube.
She remembered that I can solve a 3×3 Rubik’s cube. So, I decided to write a poem about it and also wanted to thank her for suggesting this idea. She was the one who helped me with my blog by sharing resources and her own posts with me. You can check out her work here: theartisticsoulweb.wordpress.com. After thinking and analyzing her interests, I wrote a poem about a Rubik’s cube being solved by Sara. Sera is her baptismal name, but “Sara” is a common Christian name here in India. She values her space and privacy. I shared the poem openly with everyone, including my uncle, brothers, and sister, but I received no response. It helped me to understand one more thing:
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
—Proverbs 17:17
- My tenth poem: My Song (A Poem)
My song is poem where someone tagged me to write a short poem using the ado. I tried and came up with these lines.
- My eleventh poem: Sunshine (A poem)
I wrote this poem and halfway through, paused to reflect on it alone, hoping these four lines captured something true. This time, the words felt a little stronger to me. I thought back to an earlier poem I’d crafted in solitude, but even I had nearly forgotten it. Disheartened yet satisfied with this current piece, I didn’t demand anything more from myself. Currently, I’m left alone in the quiet, like so many times before. Suddenly darkness entered, I went blank, and muscle spasms gripped me. Unable to connect with the world around me, I found myself going out of my way, burying my dignity to apologize for a non-existent mistake but silence was the only reply. I finished the rest of the poem wholeheartedly, dedicating it to my own resolve. I respect my path and my choices. Somewhere in the corner of my heart, I long to meet myself again in peace, though this wish might feel too much to ask. I’m wondering whether to reach out to others, but I’ve decided to wait. I just want some respect, dignity, someone who would listen, help me grow spiritually, and be sensible. Out of a hundred things, I might have done ninety-nine right, but I hold myself accountable for that one overlooked misstep that could have been resolved through quiet reflection. Solitude entered my life when I had something but lingers now when I own nothing.
My heart aches badly but it teaches me about God’s greatness, grace and mercy that He is willing to forgive and is always there and never leaves – “ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus”-Romans 3:23-24
“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?" - Luke 15:4.
Everything shows how willing He is to love us and to be there for us.
My heart was all in for a platonic relationship but her head calculated this as some kind of contractual basis where some words from her like -“deal breaker” was involved.
"Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings." - Proverbs 31:3
- My twelfth poem:To, My Dearest (A Poem)
To, My Dearest is a romantic poem which I wrote as writer testing online tools. Just challenged myself as a romantic poet who will write for a lover – girl.
- My thirteenth poem: Nibea (A Poem)
Nibea is all about my recent feeling. So what’s Nibea, just my name in palindrome. Solitude is all am feeling right now and I hate this feeling. I’m not enjoying how my relatives are all acting up lately, giving their oscar worthy performances. As if all has turned up against me and go behind my back.
"Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me." -Psalms 41:9
"No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.” -Isaiah 54:17
- My fourteenth poem:Nibea-2 (A Poem)
Nibea-2 is very recent post and I have been feeling alone for a while. It’s alright now I’m used to this solitude. Sometimes it helps me realize, sometimes help me to clarify myself and other times aid to organize my thoughts. But too much loneliness just eats me up from inside. My body wears me down. I have no will to wake up or move. When I’m overwhelmed by sadness and despair I just start reading bible. Nowadays there are few verse which I mediate upon –
"13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." - Romans 15:13 "He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler." - Psalms 91:4 "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." - Psalms 147:3 " So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10 "7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7 "6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7
Quoting from “The Alchemist” , to which now I concur -“every blessing ignored becomes a curse.” as it says in James 4:17 – ” 17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”
I also learned that money, financial stability, stature and social status does help and play huge role in boosting yourself in regards of family, friends and love. When you lack these, people happen to lose interest in you and there is lack of understanding and empathy from their side and you will be ridiculed and be accused of crimes you know not committing of. Even when you scream at the top of your lungs pleading your innocence, they will chose to ignore you. Some might even laugh at you.
…the boy knew that in money there was magic; whoever has money is never really alone.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
I remember being taught to me in sunday school about the parable of prodigal son, when he had the share of inheritance his friends rejoiced and continued to stay with him but when he had lost everything, he lost his friends too.
I have been told that beauty is the great seducer of men.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Sin and temptations are very pleasing to eye and maybe that’s how devil baits us. With such attraction, even wise king Solomon and mighty Samson sinned and failed. But Jesus Christ born amongst us and became a complete human being won against such temptations. Our Lord, our Christ submitted to the will of the Heavenly Father.
This is where I understood the God’s love which is too deep and immeasurable. He doesn’t care what you are and your mistakes like the father waiting at gates for his younger son to return back to him in the parable of prodigal son (refer Luke 15:11-32). He waits for our return, return from journey where we ourself decided that we deviate from His ways and rebelled to dare think that we are better off by our ways. Later, we suffer in pain and filled with anxious mind some continue to live on and some decide to bury their ego and repent for their sins. How lucky are we – Our God comforts us and is willingly to accept us. HE is just waiting for us return and like parable of 100 sheep, He cares for the 1 lame lamb who is lost. Here we all lay christians who are like the lame lamb (refer Luke 15:1-7; Matthew 18:12-14). The heaven’s rejoice and gladdens even one of us return back to Him and His ways for, completely repenting and surrendering to Him. For the parable of lost coins tells us so (refer Luke 15:8-10).
‘8 “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.’
Luke 15:8-10
In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:“Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak.17 The Lord your God in your midst,The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” 18 “I will gather those who sorrow over the appointed assembly, Who are among you, To whom its reproach is a burden.19 Behold, at that time I will deal with all who afflict you; I will save the lame, And gather those who were driven out; I will appoint them for praise and fame In every land where they were put to shame.
Zephaniah 3:16-19
~J George Thomas aka ART
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