Love is patient, love is kind…

So powerful and poetic title of the the blog post, right? Some might disagree about the title wholly but it’s okay, I guess. I think I will able to help you and persuade you with my insight for love. Let’s just all agree though that love has been discussed from ancient times and still remains debatable for it’s unique experience to each individual it touches. Hope I can present this post as interesting and differently as I intend it to be.

I only want to project what I came across or learnt. Feel free to join with me. Christ is all about love and forgiveness and I happen to witness that love. So, I share this post with nothing but with love.

How do we know we are acting in love? (1 Corinthians 13:4 ) The passage,1 Corinthians 13:4-8, gives specific characteristics of love:

1. it suffers long, is patient (1 Th 5:14);
2. it is kind, gentle, especially with those who hurt (Eph 4:32);
3. it does not envy, is not jealous of what others have (Pr 23:17);
4. it does not parade itself, put itself on display (Jn 3:30);
5. it is not puffed up, arrogant, proud (Gal 6:3);
6. it does not act rudely, brashly, mean-spiritedly, insulting others (Ecc 5:2);
7. it does not seek it’s own way, act pushy (10:24);
8. it is not provoked or angered (Pr 19:11);
9. it thinks no evil, does not keep score on others (Heb 10:17);
10. it rejoices not in iniquity takes no pleasure when others fall into sin (Mk 3:5);
11. it rejoices in the truth, is joyful when righteousness prevails (2 Jn4);
12. it bears all things,handles the burdensome (Gal 6;2);
13. it believes all things, trusts in God no matter what (Pr 3:5);
14. it hopes all things, keeps looking up, does not despair (Php 3:13);
15. it endures all things, “puts up with everything” (John Chrysostom), does not wear out (Gal 6:9);
16. it never fails, the only thing love cannot do is fail (1 Cor13:4).

Love lays as an important core in a good heavenly virtues. It happens to be the foundation in any relationship like parenthood, marriage etc. Everyone has their own perspective and experience towards love i.e to some it’s sweet or to some it might have been bitter or left a scar. I recollect a joke in a newspaper comic strip, an English teacher asks students, “If you see me stopping a donkey getting beaten up by his master. What virtue do you think I have? ” A child hastily replies,”brotherhood!”

According to Aristotle, virtue is essential to the pursuit of happiness. We can acknowledge that love towards parents isn’t same as love towards spouse, teachers or siblings. So there are different types of love, right? For in English literature love is an only word used to express those emotion (not referring to any synonyms but going for the only word which is mostly used in the english language) but in Greek, love is specifically categorized in four different words.

The four loves in Greek

• Storge – empathy bond.
• Philia – friend bond.
• Eros – romantic love.
• Agape – unconditional “God” love. (Agape is the highest form of love)

Once a lay person asked a monk what is the difference between love and like. Monk replied,”It’s simple, when you stroll in a garden and see a beautiful flower, when you like the flower you pluck it. But when you really love the flower you let it be and adore it for it’s beauty. ” Love is divine and can be intensively laborious.

For Love includes:

• Trust & Respect. (How much trust you have, the more respect and hope is exhibited )
• Forgiveness & Patience. (How much patient you are and willing to forgive )
• Privacy & Intimacy. (How much you are willing to share )
• Compassion & Devotion. (For Compassion and devotion goes hand in hand )
• Saving & Sacrifice. (How much you are willing to give up or give in)

Let’s try this in some scenarios. We love our parents but as we grow older our privacy or seclusion with them also might naturally grow as to make them less worried but there is still love and respect for them.

While in siblings or best friends, the respect would be less as compared to the amount given to parents. But trust and intimacy might reach to its highest peak than towards your parents. Later it might diminish to half with respect to your increasing age as you intend not to trouble them but still there is love.

Marriage is slightly different, as every aspect in it should be in decent ratio to make it successful. It’s more like a team of tennis players in doubles game for the rest of life. If one falls short other has to compensate. It’s challenging and fun. Might be a good time to be thankful to your parents and also wish that you could be a heavenly couples as you desire it to be.

God’s love, Agape is the highest form of love cause it is sacred, it is present in every love and without it other remaining three form of love losses it’s essence and purity. Agape is the beautiful truth which can’t be denied.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31). Here let’s give emphasis on becoming one flesh or soul rather than on leaving your parents for its just a figure of speech or a comparison to highlight the importance given to your spouse as they are a part of your own soul. Please refrain from completely abandoning your parents in this pursuit cause it’s wrong and Bible never encouraged it in the first place. Read Ephesians chapter 5, a portion of St.Paul’s epistle speaks about marriages, as one of the verse goes- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

When it came to love, Aristotle believed that self-love is a prerequisite to loving others… Yes, but there is an unseen boundary for that too. For less self love and you will be less confident or have low self esteem. Too much self love and you will be coined as narcissist. Aristotle was a philosopher. Even concept of love can differ because of exposure in professional interest or knowledge.

Medical field might just comprehend humans as an interesting cluster of cells. For some rationalist love would be just secretion of certain hormones one of it is – Oxytocin (Found highly in women and also present in men). Also called the “love hormone,” oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone and a neurotransmitter that is produced in the hypothalamus and transmitted into the bloodstream by the pituitary gland. Other happy hormones are dopamine and serotonin. While “I love you” to some people associated with software and internet would remind them of a computer virus found in mails. FYI! When you feel depressed you can hug a pillow, as hugging releases oxytocin which might be a temporary solution. Did you know when patients are treated with certain care and love their body recovers faster or has high chance of recovering from illness. It’s called as Mother Teresa effect.

Fascinating, right?! Some thought to manipulate your feelings and hack your data by sending spam mail while other can breakdown your feelings into simple chemical compounds. We are not here for chemicals or computer viruses but we are here to know what love really is.

“Love is not love which alters it when alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116.

Christ’s life on earth revolved around teaching love, humility and forgiveness. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believe in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

Lord Jesus Christ shared His heavenly love to everyone. For we were God’s servants but by Christ becoming unblemished lamb, we are blessed to be called the children of God. God’s love is so divine and pure as it also instructs to love our enemy. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 KJV). Christ told to love thy neighbors when someone tested Christ asking, who my neighbor is? Christ replies them with the parable of the Good Samaritan.

The parable of Good Samaritan is, when a Jew was badly hurt and robbed. His own nationality people including a Levite (priest) left him to die but a Samaritan; for in those days Jews and Samaritans were not on friendly terms. In the parable the good Samaritan pitied on the wounded Jew, helped him and payed a very good amount for his treatment. After replying in this parable Jesus asked the man, who he thinks in this parable is the neighbor? He answered with ease that it was the Samaritan.

Jesus Christ being born as Jew, descendant of David tells this parable which symbolises that even enemies are our neighbors who should be loved. So, love and respect everyone.

Talking about love and skip about Valentine’s day, that’s inevitable. The whole world celebrates or knows about Valentine’s day, the day when shops offers discounts on sales, couples go merry and singles sober. Valentine’s day is romantic and dedicated for couples. Ever wondered why? To answer that I might have to start from the origin, don’t fret cause I will simplify the story of St.Valentine.

February 14, the valentine’s day commemorates to remember St. Valentine, a roman catholic saint of Terni, an important town of Umbria, in central Italy. There the king and his kingdom were in a war with other nation. They happen to be losing the war. The King inquired with his ministers what the reason was and they came to a conclusion. That there were few new recruits, as less young soldiers in the army and these youth didn’t prefer war. As they would rather marry and settle for a peaceful life. So King banished marriage in the entire kingdom. St.Valentine secretly consecrated or officiated the marriages of young couples and was once caught. He was sent to prison and later charged with execution sentence for spreading Christianity. At nights, the saint would receive flowers through his prison window. As the young couples who got married by him were expressing their kindness and support in this manner. In prison he met a jailer and his daughter, who was blind. St. Valentine healed the jailer’s daughter in Christ’s name. Both jailer and his daughter confessed Christ name and accepted Christ. St. Valentine signed a letter “from your Valentine” to his jailer’s daughter, whom he had befriended and healed from blindness. Thus the famous line,“your Valentine” was adapted by lovers and is still used. Because St.Valentine was martyred for marriage, romance and love. The world celebrates his martyrdom as Valentine’s day.

Though there are some confusions about history of events in regards of place and order amongst historians. Yet centuries pass by Valentine’s day is still celebrated for love and nothing else.

Love is divine and we, Christians, actually acknowledge it as a gift of the Holy Spirit. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”(1 John 4:16)

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

(1 John 4:8 )

So, if you are having problems in your relationship i.e with your children, spouse, siblings or friends, anyone. Just pray to God and I must admit it works effectively. For some rationalist it takes intense prayer to miraculously secrete certain hormone, as certain humans have shunned their emotional side and excuse themselves as modern scientific or consider themselves as epitome of evolution.

1 John4:16-19

¹⁶ And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
¹⁷ Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ¹⁹ We love Him because He first loved us.

We humans love something or someone either we love a person or music or literary arts or vehicles etc. For without love one would lose the meaning of life. But falling in love over earthly materials are foolish and can lead to huge spiritual and mental crisis. Christ teaches to love everyone, forgive one’s enemies and genuinely appreciate everything by thanking the Triune God. For God has best interest for us all as He loves us dearly even if we don’t deserve it because of our sins. Learn to appreciate goodness in everything and be humane, that’s all it is in love. Love is divine as it is one of the fruits of Holy Spirit. ( refer Gal 5:22-23)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

Before I bid adieu to all you readers in this post, I would love to share two YouTube videos below to all those lovers around the world. (Dedicated to everyone, in or not in a relation, it’s just my way to say -You and I are loved). The link contains very beautiful songs with admirable lyrics. One by Matthew Mole, a South African artist from Cape Town and other by Mack Brock,  a founding member of North Carolina-based Elevation Worship before launching his own solo career in 2018 with his debut album for Sparrow Records, Greater Things.

I would like to conclude this blog by saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”(Mark 12:30) For God’s love is most beautiful and doesn’t corrupt with time. For His love is highest, purest and most reliable form of love which can rejuvenate your wisdom and your love for others.

~ J George Thomas aka A R T

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